"No More
Bellows", Exclaims Mob
Hollywood – What was planned to be a full day of picketing
at a local abortion clinic that recently opened it’s doors on Tuesday,
protesters were reported to have suddenly abandoned the rally and were seen
hurriedly scrambling for their vehicles, and according to the leader of the
group, Mary Kirkman, would be redirecting their efforts in front of the Malibu
home of Ally McBeal star Gil Bellows. Apparently at some point during the
morning’s demonstration, an unidentified woman tipped off the angry crowd, informing
them of the fact that Bellow’s wife was carrying the actor’s child. One hour
later, in a dramatic reversal, the radical antiabortionists dispensed with
their pro-life rhetoric in favor of an uncharacteristic pro-choice stance that
shocked local officials. As she carried a sign exclaiming, “No abortion except
in the case of rape, incest, or Gil Bellows”, Rebecca Fawley, one of
participants, commented, “We have always felt that every life was sacred, but
we are actually doing this for the child’s own welfare”. John Denon, spokesman
for the group, told reporters that while it would present a technical challenge
at the last minute, one of the two explosive satchel’s timers could in fact be
reprogrammed for use at the Bellows residence, but the other would remain at
the clinic, enabling the group to quote, “Kill two birds with one stone”.
A few minutes
into the event, Bellows was reported at times be seen in a front window of the
home, attempting to affix a makeshift barricade to ward of rocks, bottles and
the occasional bullet that was striking the side of the home.
Police arrived on the scene shortly
after, and officers dispersed the crowd while bomb squad officials disarmed the
device that had been hurled onto the couples doorstep. Investigators told
reporters later that the Bellows’ were shaken, but unharmed.
It was not clear
who the informant had been that incited the mob, and why the shooter’s
marksmanship had been so poor, but rumors suggested it
may have been Bellow’s co-star, Jane Krakowski, and that poor weather in their
NRA Death Valley firing range had interfered with the usual training camps.